Tapes
by nomad.eco
Summary: "Just because my life is coming to an end that doesn't mean my promises are coming to an end too. I will keep my promises and who would have thought, that the one that helped me were these tapes." Epilogue added. R
1. Chapter 1

**This is a new shortfic I just thought over the weekend.**

**I don't know how it will turn out...**

**But hope you'll enjoy!**

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"_Just because my life is coming to an end that doesn't mean my promises are coming to an end too. I will keep my promises and who would have thought, that the one that helped me were these tapes._

_Tapes that made me keep my promise or more like keep me alive in your memories. I don't know if it is enough but for now this is all I can do. _

_Well, I am young with nothing much to offer. All I have is a talent, to play the piano and sing. So, in every one of this tapes, I have something. Don't worry. It isn't a compulsory to keep them but it would be great if you would. I'm kinda a sentimental person. So…that's all…"_

**STOP**

"I guess that's alright." I finally said, after watching the video for over 5 times.

I wanted to make sure everything is alright. I made sure that sadness wouldn't be seen and I wanted them to know that it's okay.

So I decided, just today, to compile. Well, in tapes. It wasn't that hard. I just need to prepare the video camera and get myself to smile. That was the most important part, smiling. It wasn't a fake one. It was real. It was for them.

Hehehe…right now, you must be wondering why I'm doing this. Wondering, why I make it sound so important and sentimental. Like I'm saying goodbye. You must think, _"It's not like you're going to die." _But I am. Well, everybody does but mine, just came earlier.

So, if you don't mind. I'm going to share a bit about it.

Here I go…

Almost 3 months ago, I found out something. Something that wasn't good but needs to be accepted.

It started when I began urinating blood. It was really unusual. So, my parents decided to bring me to a doctor. I had tests and scans and more tests and more scans. I wasn't directly told what the problem with me was. But I knew there was something. So I just waited to be told.

But when they told me, I hoped that day that they didn't tell me. There was something wrong with my kidneys. Both of them, they say. And transplant will not do any good because the virus had already spread. I learned that day…I had cancer.

It was spreading fast that it was already at stage 4. The highest level of cancer and chemotherapy will do no help.

I still went to school as if everything was alright. I didn't tell anyone. I don't want them worrying over me. But they still were. Since, they were times when I wouldn't go to school for almost 3 days and when I come back, I don't tell them anything. Too bad, it also had its negative effects.

Well, I'm in 3rd year high school and I have a boyfriend. Things weren't working so well for us at that time. I spoke less with him, smiled less when with him and hardly appears on dates. When he asks me what's wrong, I tell him nothing. He gets mad and tells me that I am a bad liar. But still, I tell him nothing.

My cancer worsened. I still didn't tell anyone. Sometimes, late at night, I would stare at the night sky asking God why. And the same as me, He didn't tell me anything.

Until one day, my parents told me news. I waited. But it took them moments to tell. They were holding my hand tightly as they were holding back tears.

"You only 2 months more to live." They told me, not daring to look me in the eyes. I didn't cry. I just nodded and smiled. They looked up and I saw the tears they were holding back for me. They smiled too. Although a bit cracked.

After that day, I decided to leave school and enjoy my life as my parents suggested. They said, "Make your dreams come true in those 2 months."

I went to school for the last time to hand in my withdrawal letter. I decided to spend this day with my classmates but another bad thing happened. My boyfriend broke up with me. I didn't cry. I just asked why.

"It's not just working out. Our relationship is breaking apart." He told me.

I lowered my head and was about to say something, something important but he already left. All I saw was his back. I didn't know why but I still didn't cry. It seemed like my tears had all gone dry.

After that, I handed my withdrawal letter. My friends had no knowledge about it. The school officials didn't have to ask anything as they read the letter. They just looked at me with those sympathetic eyes.

I went that day, feeling down and depressed. But I didn't cry. I only had 2 months to fulfill my dreams and crying will do me no good.

"Yes, I, Sakura Mikan will fulfill her dreams in the happiest way." I still remembered that line that I said that day to cheer myself up.

That's it. That's what happened. Back to present now.

Honestly, as I remembered those times, it seems like a movie play. But never mind that. I reached a few of my dreams for 1 month and 28 days. I've always dreamed of going around the world and I've been to Europe. I have also been to some Asian countries and Australia. That dream come true was enough for me.

So, now I'm here at my home, I've decided to give something for all those people who cared for me and I cared for. At least before I'm gone, they'll have something to remember me by and this will be a dream come true for me.

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**How was it?**

**I hope it wasn't really that bad.**

**Please review so I'll know what you think.**

**Thanks!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Next chap...**

**Umm...please read.**

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Hotaru's POV

"That idiot! She never told me anything." I said aloud, trying to hold in emotions.

I'm not lying. She never did. I thought she was my best friend and yet, she didn't even tell me such important information. I've always thought of myself that that idiot was easy to read. But she proved me wrong.

Now, all I see is a casket. The last time that I saw her alive was when she went to school for the last time.

"How could she be so…" I wasn't able to finish.

I touched the glass and I saw her face. Still the same. I can still see her smiling. I touched the glass as if I was touching her face. Then, without warning, tears started to fall. Wetting the glass and it continued not showing signs of ceasing. I just couldn't hold it anymore. She was just the same age as me. It seemed just like yesterday that she was alive and kicking.

Sakura Mikan is irreplaceable for she was different because she was my best friend. I bet, she would have wanted to hear this but I guess I was too late.

Natsume's POV

I became speechless when the news came over me. I thought it was a joke and I wanted to smash their face for saying a joke like that. A joke about Mikan dying.

I was wrong. This casket in front me proves how wrong I was. They were right. It wasn't a joke. She's gone. She's gone. And it's forever.

"How could you just leave without telling anybody?" I softly whispered to the cold body inside the casket. I knew she can't hear me but there was nothing I can do.

I didn't know what to do. I can't even stare at her face anymore. The guilt has taken over me. I felt stupid and helpless.

She's gone. She's gone. And it's forever.

Yuka's POV

When the day came, the day that she was to be taken away from me forever, I cried my heart out. I kept shouting her name, hoping it would bring her back. My daughter. My only daughter. It was futile. She just lay there, not moving a muscle.

Now, I can't even dare to see her inside the casket. The daughter that I truly loved is gone and it wasn't something that was really easy to accept.

I knew she loved me. She only wanted my happiness. When I remarried, she never said anything against it. But now, she's gone. She left me.

I remembered when she always told me that she wanted to have a younger sibling and I simply laughed it off. But now, it's too late. She's gone. She'll never meet her younger sibling.

Why does good news come too late? And why does bad news always find a way to come even when they're not wanted?

I just fell down on my knees and asked God, why her? I cried. I cried and I cried. Like most of the people that came here. We all lost someone special.

After the funeral, I went up to her room. It was still the same since she left.

I started keeping her things. But I can never keep my tears. They just fell. I slowly picked up her clothes that were on the floor. Oh! How I remember. She wasn't always the neat one. I smiled. I went to her desk and saw the pictures she always treasured. For her, memories were the best keepsakes she can ever have.

Then, I found something on her desk. A shoe box. It was written on top, "KEEPSAKES". I wondered what it was. So, I opened it.

There were tapes. Each of them had labels.

I started crying again, "Memories" I thought were still her best keepsakes and she wanted to share it with everyone.

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**How was it?**

**Hoped it worked out okay.**

**Please review.**


	3. Chapter 3

**This chap is Mikan's tape for her parents.**

**I hope you'll read and like it...**

**

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FOR MY PARENTS**

The video started playing…

"_Hi Mom. Hi Dad. I really don't know what to say. Hehehe…" she laughed._

"_Umm…honestly, I've tried to prepare a speech but I found out that I sucked at it so I decided to do it impromptu." She smiled._

"_Probably, by the time you've seen this, I'll be gone. But don't cry, okay? Since you say that, I'm kinda good at singing and playing the piano. I'm gonna do it for you, for the last time."_

"_But before I do that, I want to tell you that you are the best parents anyone could ever have. I love you both, you Mom and Narumi-sensei or let's say, Dad." She smiled again._

"_Mom, I want you to be happy always and enjoy your life. Take care of my future little siblings, okay. And Dad…take care of mom. Since you are the only person I can trust her to." This time, she only gave a small smile._

"_Okay…so here's the song." She started as she positioned herself on the piano._

_**For all those times you stood by me**_

_Her voice started singing. It was an angel's voice._

_**For all the truth that you made me see**_

_**For all the joy you brought to my life**_

All now that they were hearing were Mikan's soft song and as they close their eyes, a tear escaped. Then more followed.

_**You were my strength when I was weak**_

_The chorus started._

_**You were my voice when I couldn't speak**_

_**You were my eyes when I couldn't see**_

_**You saw the best there was in me**_

_**You stood by me and I stood tall**_

_**I had your love**_

_**I had it all**_

_**I'll be forever thankful**_

_**Because you love me**_

_The singing stopped. But the piano kept going. And she started speaking._

"_Mom, Dad. I have never regretted anything in my life. The song was right for you…" she paused and she looked away from the video._

"_Stupid me." She said, "I promised I wouldn't cry." She continued, laughing a bit but it quickly stopped. She was biting her lip to stop it from trembling. _

"_I don't know if where I would go but I'm sure that wherever I am…I'll surely miss you." _

"_Don't start crying now Mom. Dad, can you wipe her tears for me?" she said._

Yuka really started crying, chuckling a bit with what her daughter had said. Narumi held her close.

"_I love you." Then beep._

That was the end of the video.

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**How was it?**

**By the way, the song I used here is a famous song by Celine Dion entitled Because you loved me.**

**Please don't forget to write your review.**

**Thanks!**


	4. Chapter 4

**This is another "tape".**

**I don't know if this will work out too...**

**But hope it will...**

**Please read.**

**

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FOR MISAKI-SENPAI AND TSUBASA-SENPAI**

They sat closely to each other, feeling down and sad. Then the video started playing…

"_Hi senpais" she greeted with her usual smiling face._

"_Sorry that I really didn't tell you anything. Just didn't want you to worry." She explained._

"_I made this video for you. Remember, the promise I made with you…that I will sing during your wedding. I'm really sorry that I will not be able to see it personally. But don't worry, I'll keep my promise." She said, grinning._

They looked at each other.

"_Wow! I can already imagine you're wedding and me singing." She said happily._

"_Though I will not be personally singing. I searched this song that will fit your wedding. I'll just sing over the tape and you can use it during your wedding, if it's okay."_

"_But before I'll sing, I'll have to first thank you for everything. For the hugs and comforts and I still remember the time during the festival when we did the maze. It was really amazing. Thanks for supporting me during that time." She was smiling this time._

"_So here's the song…"_

_The piano started playing._

_**It's always been a mystery in me**_

_**How two hearts can come together?**_

_**Love can last forever**_

_**Now that I have found you, I believe**_

_**That a miracle has come**_

_**When God sends the perfect one**_

The music continued. Misaki just leaned her head on Tsubasa's shoulder. Her tears wetting her cheeks.

"Mikan…" she whimpered.

_The chorus began._

_**Oh I wonder what God was thinking**_

_**When he created you**_

_**I wondered if He knew everything I would need**_

_**Because He made all my dreams come true**_

_**When God made you…**_

_**He must have been thinkin' about me**_

They sat still listening. Remembering, just like yesterday, the moments they spent with their little kouhai and they just couldn't stop the tears from coming.

_The song continued._

_**He made the sun, He made the moon**_

_**To harmonize in perfect tune**_

_**What can do without the yearning?**_

_**They just have to be together**_

_**And what I found**_

_**I know is true**_

_**You're for me and I for you**_

_**Cause' my world can't be right**_

_**Without you in my life**_

_It continued. _

Until Misaki couldn't take it any longer. She dropped to her knees.

"Mikan…" was all she was able to say, to the girl in the video playing the song for them.

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**How was it?**

**The song I used here is sung by Newsong entitled When God Made you.**

**The song is a love song.**

**Don't forget to review.**

**Thanks!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Here is the next "tape"**

**Please read and enjoy!**

**

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FOR HOTARU**

"_Hi, Hotaru." She smiled_

"_You must be mad with me, right? Too bad, you can't hit me with the baka gun." _

Hotaru just smiled as tears fell.

"_I really don't know if you'll cry but I'm really hoping not because Hotaru is strong." She said, showing her muscles then she laughed._

"_I'm really sorry for not telling ahead then suddenly not coming to school then suddenly never coming back again." She said the last line softly._

"_Hotaru…" she paused, looking for words to say._

"_I'm sorry." She bowed her head then she looked up again._

"_You know, you are the bestest of friend. I don't know if you see me as one. But I am happy enough knowing you."_

"Idiot" Hotaru muttered, wiping a tear.

"_I'm surely gonna miss you're baka gun. I wonder if they have like that to where I will go to." _

"I'll also miss hitting you." Hotaru said to the screen.

"_Anyway, good luck with Ruka Nogi. Congrats too on the coming graduation or on graduating. I don't know. Too bad, I haven't been able to graduate in high school." She said with a sigh._

"_But I'm not sad" she quickly said, "I'm still ahead of you. I graduated a bit early in life." She said sadly but the smile never amiss._

"Mikan…" Hotaru whispered.

"_Don't worry about me. I'm just…" she wasn't able to continue._

"_Never mind." She quickly dismissed what she was about to say._

"_I'm really sorry again. I already did some tapes for my parents and Misaki and Tsubasa-senpai. I did some singing inside too so with this tape too, I'm gonna do some singing." She smiled sweetly._

"_Don't comment anything until I'm done okay? I hope you'll not sell it to others." She said jokingly. _

"_Hotaru…if only I had one friend left, it would be you." She said sincerely with a smile._

_She started playing the piano._

_**I always thought you were the best**_

_**I guess I always will**_

_**I always thought that we were blessed**_

_**And I feel that way still.**_

_**Sometimes we took the hard road**_

_**But we always saw it through**_

_**If I had only one friend left**_

_**I'd want it to be you…**_

Hotaru just closed her eyes just letting the song drift in her ears. Every word she heard, mattered.

She hadn't noticed how long she was closing her eyes until the song ended with the last line…_**If I had only one fried left…I'd want it to be you…**_

_Then the video ended.

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_

**How was it?**

**The song I used here is one of my favorites.**

**The song is entitled One Friend by Dan Seals.**

**Please review.**

**Thanks!**


	6. Chapter 6

**This is the last "tape"**

**Hope you'll read and enjoy...**

**

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FOR NATSUME**

He stared at the tape labeled for him. He wondered what it held for him. So, he played the video.

He held his hands together. Then it started.

"_Umm…hi." She simply said, waving her hand._

"_I really don't know where to begin." She lowered her head, obviously looking at her hands._

"_I made this video after I made the rest. It took me about a week to decide if I should do this. But anyway, here I am doing it." She chuckled._

"_I know we have already…you know. I'm sorry for not telling you." She finally looked up._

"_I was about to tell you that day, you know. But you already left and my pride won't let me call you."_

"_But don't worry, I have accepted it. So, no hard feelings, okay." She raised two thumbs up._

"_I don't know if you'll be able to forgive me for keeping important information like this. But I hope you will. It will really let me rest assure."_

"_Natsume…I was really glad I met you. You made my high school life the best experience of my life. Going out with you, made me feel things that I've never felt before. I'm really thankful that you were the one who I experienced it with, the feeling of love."_

"_I sound cheesy right?" she laughed but it was a short one._

"_Anyway, hope you don't mind, me talking like this." She smiled._

Natsume managed a smirk.

"_I bet you're smirking right now. But honestly, I prefer you smile."_

"Even in videos, you still read my mind." Natsume said.

"_I don't know what I should say anymore. Umm…congrats. You'll be in college soon and I bet you'll be a top student there. Then girls will be drooling over you." She grinned._

"_I really hope you'll find a girl who'll take care of you and you'll also take care of her and who will love you. I bet that girl is just around somewhere so continue looking and never give up." She smiled sweetly._

**PAUSE**

"I already found her but when I did, I let her go and now she's gone forever." Natsume whispered to the frozen picture on the screen. He slowly touched the lines on her face. Then placed his hand down.

He pressed the play button.

"_I am going to play something for you. And there will some singing. I know that you always said that my singing was bad, I hope you'll listen to it for the last time." _

"You actually believe that?" Natsume said, meaning the line when she said her singing was bad.

_The intro started._

_**I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house**_

_**That don't bother me**_

_**I can take a few tears now and then**_

_**Just let them out**_

_**I am not afraid to cry every once in a while**_

Natsume let his hands run through his hair.

_The music started and then the chorus began._

_**What hurts the most, was being so close**_

_**And having so much to say**_

_**And watching you walk away**_

_**And never knowing what could have been**_

_**Now, I've seen that love in you**_

_**Is what I was tryin' to do**_

_The music continued but Mikan stopped singing._

"_I really don't know why I chose this song. It was just the first song that came into my mind. This song was supposed to be sung by someone who lost somebody."_

"_But what I'm feeling right now, it's like…I'm going to lose someone great when I die. So, I just sang it." Mikan said a tear escaping._

_The music stopped. She turned her chair and she faced the video._

"_Don't worry. I won't hold you back. Just go on. Never give up." She cheered._

"_You'll always be here." She said, tapping her chest. Then, she cried._

"Mikan…you'll always be here too." Natsume said and for once he let the tears flow. One by one it dropped. He bowed his head and leaned his forehead on his palm.

"_Crying is okay. I'll miss you even though I'm the one dying." She managed a smile between her tears._

"_Goodbye" was the last word she said._

_Then…beep…the video ended.

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_

**How was it?**

**The song is sung by Rascal Flatts entitled What Hurts the Most...**

**One of my fave song too...**

**Umm...this is the end of my fic...**

**Please review...**

**Thanks!**


	7. Epilogue

**Hi everyone!**

**I decided to make an epilogue and here it is.**

**I'm really sorry it took me awhile to decide.**

**But anyway...**

**Read and I hoped you'll be touched.**

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The day has come. It has finally come, the happiest moment of one's life. As two persons will be bounded by love and will be witnessed by all the people closest to them. Everyone was present.

Everyone was ready. All dressed in their best clothes. The wedding march song started to play. The groom couldn't hide his nervousness. For any minute now, the woman he always wanted to be with forever will be marching down the red carpet with her long, white flowing dress, and they will exchange their vows and an eternal love is what they promise.

"Relax, man." The best man told him, giving him a slight punch on his arm.

The groom fixed his tie. Then, he saw her. His bride, arm in arm with her parents. She was stunning. She had a big smile painted on her face. For this was her moment. This was their moment.

They finally reached the altar after like a lifetime of waiting. "Take care of her." The bride's mother told him then handed him their one and only daughter.

"You look so beautiful or maybe that's even an understatement." He told his bride, taking her arms to his.

The bride grinned. "Stop playing with me, Tsubasa." Then, gave him a playful punch on the chest.

"Today, we will witness the love of two people who willingly submit themselves to love forever in front of their Creator." The priest started.

Then, the ceremony went on. All was quiet, witnessing a God-given blessing of true love for Harada Misaki and Andou Tsubasa. After years of waiting, in the altar their life together will begin.

"I now announce you…husband and wife." The people cheered and congratulations were heard. Everybody was happy.

"Hey!" the groom called his best man. "Thanks for agreeing to be my best man, Hyuuga." He said.

"Whatever, Andou." Was all he said, and then whispered, "Congratulations. I bet she is happy knowing that you really ended up together." Then for the first time, Natsume held out his hand and shook hands with Tsubasa.

"That's a first." Someone said, followed by the flash of a camera. "This will surely sell. Hyuuga and Andou on good terms." She laughed evilly.

"Oh! Come on, Hotaru. You still thinking about business at this moment." Tsubasa said, placing an arm on Hotaru's shoulder. Well, almost.

_BANG!_ The groom was on the floor, hit by the infamous baka gun.

"It has been a long time since I last used this." Hotaru said, smiling sadly. Natsume just looked at her, thinking,_ "She misses her too."_

"What happened to you, Tsubasa?" Misaki asked laughing, seeing him rubbing his forehead. She, then, helped him up.

"By the way Hotaru," Misaki called, "Thanks for helping in all the preparations." She said gratefully.

Hotaru gave a small smile in return.

"Harada!" It was Natsume. "You better take care of your husband or he'll have lots of bumps today."

The guests were busy talking, taking pictures and a lot of laughing too. Like a flash, everyone went silent.

"_So here's the song…" she started._

It was because of the voice, the voice that everyone longed to hear again. It was the wonderful voice of the girl that had caused not just a small ripple to their lives but a giant wave that when gone had caused so much damage…and pain.

She was a girl that was a one in a million that even you go to the deepest oceans or the highest altitude in the sky; or to the South Pole then right to North Pole; it is impossible. You wouldn't find anyone like her.

_The chorus started…_

_**Oh I wonder what God was thinking**_

_**When he created you**_

_**I wondered if He knew everything I would need**_

_**Because He made all my dreams come true**_

_**When God made you…**_

_**He must have been thinkin' about me**_

Someone from the back sniffled. "Its okay, Yuka." Her husband comforted though in his eyes it was all sadness. Even he couldn't hold back the tears that were filling his eyes. Yes. They missed her.

Misaki was leaning on Tsubasa's shoulder, her tears falling but a smile couldn't be amiss. She could have wanted everyone to smile for this was a special day. But deep in their hearts, they longed her presence but the truth hurts…she's gone.

_The song continued…_

_**Now on our own our questions about why**_

_**And I've never been so sure of anything in my life…**_

Hotaru was on her seat, savoring the sound she was hearing. For it has been a long since she last heard it. Her grasp on her baka gun tightened, she really missed her. The genius misses the idiot. She closed her eyes and for that moment, her tears began falling once again.

He was just standing there, quiet and still, listening to every note, to every word and to everything that was on that song. The song sung by Mikan Sakura. "Natsume" he heard someone call him. He turned and found himself staring into an illusion that she was still alive. He knew the truth but he just hoped for one moment nothing was wrong and she was still here. But…she's gone and he is missing her terribly.

_**When God made you…**_

_**He must have been thinking about me.**_

The song ended but the memories started in the minds of each and everyone who treasured Mikan Sakura.

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Natsume's POV

I was back to the usual place, staring at the stars and the moon, reminiscing the moments she was beside me watching the moon.

"I know I never have sang to you before." He said to the shadows, to the image of the girl he loved.

"But hearing you sing at the wedding, made me feel like singing a song for you." He smiled.

_**If I ever write a story of my life**_

_**Don't be surprised If you're where it begins**_

_**Girl, I have to dedicate every line on every page**_

_**Cause' the memories we made while you loved me**_

He paused. His heart ached. Then he continued…

_**I was born the day you kissed me**_

_**And I died inside the night you left me**_

_**But I lived, oh how I lived**_

_**While you loved me.**_

He didn't intend to cry. He just wanted to sing…for her. But emotions got over him. He closed his eyes to feel the wind comfort him but instead, more of the tears came.

_**I start with chapter one, love, innocent and young**_

_**As I wanted, on a new day**_

_**Even though I know the end, I'd do it all again**_

_**Cause' I've got a lifetime in**_

_**While you loved…me**_

His voice cracked at the last word. "Mikan…" he called out to the skies and maybe they can hear him. Maybe she can hear him. Just maybe.

He leaned his back against the Sakura tree after he had calmed down. "You know Polka…I have taken your advice." He paused, "Its so hard to look for one." He smirked.

"But don't worry. I'm still looking." He gave one last smile to the stars then got up, gave the Sakura a last touch then he left.

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**That was it.**

**How was it, anyway?**

**I really hoped that it touched you or you enjoyed it enough to review. :D**

**Thanks!**


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